Which penis enlargement methods are the most effective? Once you learn this, you can be on your way to adding serious size quickly and permanently. I went from a puny 5.5 inches long and 5 inches around to over 8 inches long and exactly 6 inches around. This article reviews the most popular and commonly used penis enlargement methods and reveals which are the most effective.

Pills: This is by far the most widely used method for penis enlargement. The only problem? It doesn’t work! Seriously, you will not find one guy who has actually increased the structure of his penis permanently by taking pills. Penis enlargement pills are just cheap herbal concoctions that are not regulated by the FDA and not proven to increase penis size. Your best bet is to save your money and your time.

Surgery: Although this method isn’t common due to its oppressive cost, it is widely known to be an effective method. While this is true and it does work, there are limits to how much size you can gain due to it being an implantation process. Do not expect to gain more than 1-2 inches of length and less than 1 inch of girth, and the procedure is very dangerous and very expensive.

Natural penis enlargement: This is the only method other than surgery proven to work, and if it is done consistently, you can gain MORE size than you can with surgery. I gained 3 inches of length and 1 inch of girth permanently! You just need to study the different techniques you can do using unbiased sources, determine which suit you best, and take action. Within two weeks, you’ll already be able to see and feel that your penis is becoming larger and thicker!

Expired medications are commonplace and inertia notwithstanding, many of us tend to rely on an intuitive sense of their value in continuing to store and use them. Such drugs can be harmful to health in several ways; they can be unpredictable in effectiveness, simply ineffective, or even toxic.

The formal way of classifying a medication as having expired is through it’s labeled expiry date. This date is often set based on a combination of the common properties of the dosage form as well as the stability and expiration studies of the product that have been conducted by the manufacturer. Importantly, this expiry date is contingent on specific storage conditions of the product. Although a medication may pass it’s labeled expiry date, it may not necessarily be any less effective or dangerous to consume depending on the product itself, the storage conditions and the circumstances leading up to expiry.

When most medications pass their expiry date under appropriate storage conditions, they are generally taken to have become so variable in effectiveness as to have become unsuitable for use. This often comes about as a result of the degradation of the active ingredients of the medication with exposure to physical, chemical or microbiological variables like temperature, pressure, humidity, light, bacteria as well as other components of the product known as excipients.

Creams may “crack” once their expiry date is passed, leading to a separation of the components and hence provide a non-uniform delivery of active ingredients. This can lead to the poor control of conditions like eczema or acne. Tablet medications can mechanically “powder” off, change in consistency with exposure to water vapor or even experience the contained drug itself becoming ineffective on prolonged exposure to air as occurs with glyceryl trinitrate, an emergency medicine that can easily become ineffective in relieving acute symptoms of chest pain. With common injections, should the acidity change to fall outside a fairly narrow range, significant pain and tissue damage can result from use. With most eye drops, an expiry date of one month after opening is accepted to minimize the potential for dangerous bacterial contamination.

With any medication, once a specific threshold of remaining active ingredient is passed, the medication can no longer be relied upon to deliver accurate doses. This loss of reliability is often exacerbated by the fact that the active ingredients can degrade into various combinations of active, inactive or toxic breakdown products. The common aspirin is for instance, known to react with moisture to breakdown into salicylic acid, which is active, and acetic acid, which is inactive and can lead to toxicity in excess.

While the expiry date provides a useful gauge of when to stop using a medication, there are also many other factors that can informally accelerate the expiry of a medication and make it dangerous to use, chief among which is how the medication is stored. It is oftentimes not just the medication that is affected by storage conditions but also the storage container. Under inappropriate storage conditions, certain containers can leech material into liquid medication preparations, or medication particles can stick to the container rather than remain separated. On average, a 10 degree rise in temperature doubles the rate of chemical reactions that occur to a medication product and can accelerate the rate of bacterial contamination several fold. Just like an ice cream can simply melt or a loaf of bread becomes mouldy much quicker if not refrigerated, many medication products can easily expire much faster when not stored appropriately.

With oral liquid and topical medications, potentially dangerous changes associated with expiry can at times be detected by color or consistency changes, component separations, altered smell or taste (oral preparations). Should a suspicion of expiry arise, a medication expert should be consulted regardless of whether or not the labeled expiry date has been passed.

“Expiry” should also be understood to occur once a supply of medications is no longer used appropriately for it’s intended purpose. Consultation with a medication expert is always advised to prevent the inappropriate use of existing medication supplies. Inappropriate use can often occur with self-medication and is harmful. An unfinished supply of a previously used antibiotic may be tried to treat a new infection that is actually untreatable by or resistant to that antibiotic. This practice may not only delay recovery but can also encourage the proliferation of “super bugs” that have resistance to many antibiotics. Another incorrect purpose involves sharing medications and this can be especially harmful if another is allergic to the shared medication or a child or pet is medicated with an adult’s medication. Children often require dose adjustments to accommodate their size while many human drugs are often unsuitable for pets. Even a simple food like chocolate that we may enjoy can easily be toxic to a pet dog.

Another mechanism whereby medication expiry is dangerous occurs when an unfinished supply is used despite new information that points to increased precautions associated with the medication or that has led to it’s recall. An example is obtaining pain relief from a previous supply of a painkiller like Vioxx (rofecoxib) or Celebrex (celecoxib) in spite of an existing heart condition that is now known to relate to an increased risk of fatality under those circumstances of consumption.

Expired medications that are kept instead of discarded not only take up space but can actually discourage the appropriate use of new supplies in the treatment of illness. A medication cabinet, if not tended to regularly, could eventually contain more expired medications than viable ones and this can lead to the accidental consumption of an expired medication in place of a viable one. It is definitely advisable to clear the medication cabinet of expired medicaitons at least annually if not more often.

A further danger however, lies in how expired medications are disposed of. Expired medications and pharmaceutical byproducts can be harmful to the environment especially when they end up in our rivers and drinking water supply. Hormonal compounds like estrogen from birth control pills and patches as well as antibiotics have been linked to being flushed by individuals and institutions into sewage, draining largely unchanged and collecting in rivers and streams, then returning in tiny amounts into drinking water. Traces of antibiotics could worsen bacterial resistance while estrogens and other steroids are known to change the reproductive characteristics of fish. Even trace amounts of chemotherapy medications have emerged in tap water and this could be severely detrimental to the unborn babies of pregnant women who drink such water. The long-term impact on human health of medications in our rivers and drinking water is as yet unknown but no one would want to wait to find out. We can all play our part by inquiring on and using pharmacy or state-run programs for the disposal of expired medications instead of sending them down the sink or the toilet bowl.

A pharmacist is the expert of choice to approach in handling medication expiry and should be consulted if in doubt. As a general rule, it is always best to safeguard your own health and that of those around you by expeditiously and appropriately discarding all expired medications.

One of the most embarrassing problems that members of the human male species encounter is erectile dysfunction, the inability to have an erection even when the penis is being sexually stimulated by a partner. Erectile dysfunction is one of the reasons why romantic relationships fizzle - the importance of regular and successful sexual intercourse in the hierarchy of things need not be questioned. Obviously, erectile dysfunction must be treated - and fast. If you are suffering from this medical condition, you might want to consider getting injections for erectile dysfunction.

Erectile dysfunction injection usually consists of three different medications combined together in a mixture. These medications are alprostadil, papaverine hydrochloride, and phentolamine mesylate, which all come in a variety of brand names. Once these medications are mixed, they are injected into the side of the penis using a tiny needle. The dose of medication can be adjusted to give an erection that lasts according to your desired length of time. Some men find the thought of injecting a needle into their penis disturbing. However, you should know that injections for erectile dysfunction are rarely painful. In fact, if the thought of a needle in your penis becomes unbearable, you could request for the use of an auto-injector, a device for injections in which the needle is hidden.

So, what exactly does an injection do to make you have an erection? The medications injected into the side of your penis have the necessary properties to make the muscles surrounding the blood vessels in your penis relax. This allows the blood flow into your penis increase, producing an erection that lasts for at least 30 minutes up to an hour - or longer, if you wish. The length of time your erection lasts will depend on the amount or dose of medication you inject. A doctor may give you an injection right in his office to check your system’s response to the medication. There are certain medications that produce allergic reactions in some men. Although they have a proud record of an 85% success rate, you must know that, like other medicine-bound solutions, injections for erectile dysfunction have their share of negative side effects.

It is not unusual for men suffering from erectile dysfunction to become excited over a proposed solution. Sometimes, however, over excitement can lead to disastrous results. Injections, especially those that contain the wrong dose of medication, can result in priapism, a prolonged erection that is painful and one of the worst side effects of injections for erectile dysfunction. There have been recorded cases in which an erection produced by an injection lasted longer than four hours. You may want to have an erection so bad, given your medical condition, but a long-lasting erection that isn’t relieved immediately can damage tissues inside your penis, leaving it permanently out of use.

Other side effects of injections for erectile dysfunction include pain (ranging from mild to moderate), bruising, and fibrosis, which is the development of scar tissues in the penis. About 50% of injection users in one study reported feeling pain; however, pain has not stopped men from continuing the use of injections. Doctors recommend injecting the medication slowly to reduce the amount of pain or avoid it entirely. It is important to seek the advice of a health professional. It is strongly suggested to try natural treatments first; these are effective and painless.

While millions of American males today are scrambling to get pills and contraptions for erectile dysfunction help, more of them are also reporting side effects of taking prescription drugs. These prescription drugs are synthetic formulations that work by inhibiting the chemical phosphodiesterase 5 (PDE5), the chemical that is responsible for the inability of males to achieve or sustain erection for sexual intercourse. Taking these prescription drugs have been known to result in a number of minor discomforts such as headaches, facial flushing, nasal congestion, dyspepsia, and vision problems. In extreme cases, people taking these PDE5 inhibitors experience at some point, cardiovascular problems and even sudden deaths. The best erectile dysfunction help has been known to come from natural treatments for male impotence.

In most cases, erectile dysfunction help can focus on improving blood circulation especially in the penile area. Studies show that over 90% of those who suffer from erectile dysfunction have poor blood circulation. Synthetic pills can solve this but would also bring more harm than good especially if you are already suffering from other ailments like diabetes and hypertension. There are several ways to get erectile dysfunction help naturally and in most cases, these adjustments in diet, lifestyle, and supplementation are recommended by physicians first before moving on to synthetic and surgical erectile dysfunction help.

Diet. Staying away from high fat and high cholesterol diets is known to result in improved circulation levels. A diet that is rich in whole, unrefined, fresh, and unprocessed foods is good for those suffering from erectile dysfunction. Fruits and vegetables along with whole grains and nuts are also helpful. Eating snails can also serve to fulfil a body’s recommended amounts of zinc, a minerals that enhances sexual functioning of males. Oysters, shellfish, lean pork and beef, and legumes are also great sources of zinc. Foods rich in vitamins C and E can also provide the much needed erectile dysfunction help.

Lifestyle. A healthy lifestyle that is free from vices and stressors are good for erectile functioning. Taking away smoking, excessive caffeine, and excessive alcohol can increase blood circulation and provide erectile dysfunction help. Much stress can also impact blood circulation as well as the psychological frame of mind needed in intimate moments. Alleviating stress through relaxation techniques and breathing exercises prior to sexual intercourse can enhance erectile functioning.

Supplementation. Mineral deficiency is one of the known causes of erectile dysfunction. Supplementing the body’s mineral requirements will enhance blood flow and erectile functioning. In today’s fast-paced environment, food consumption rarely ever provides the complete dose of vitamins and minerals recommended for a healthy and balanced diet. Vitamin C and E are important nutrients that can help not only in erectile dysfunction but in other bodily functions as well. Amino acid arginine, bioflavonoids, and zinc are also important in erectile dysfunction treatments. Herbal treatments consisting of gingko biloba and ginseng are effective and side effects-free medication for erectile dysfunction.

Men can definitely get help for erectile dysfunction from natural health remedies. Aside from improving penile erection, successful erectile dysfunction help will result in enjoying better over-all health, improved sexual health, weight loss, and absolutely no side-effects.

Millions and millions of American males are now coming out to consult their physicians for something that used to be looked at with embarrassment and even denial. Erectile dysfunction is now an acceptable topic of medical studies and patient-doctor discussions. Throughout the years, technological advances in the field of medicine has given rise to medical treatment for erectile dysfunction. There are now a number of ways to help erectile dysfunction.

Erectile dysfunction is a condition where a male is unable to achieve an erection or sustain an erection to perform sexual activity. An erection is achieved when the brain sends a chemical signal to the penile muscles causing it to relax. It starts with sexual stimulation that can either be in tactile or mental form. A chemical called nitric oxide released in the nerves is responsible causing the penile muscles to relax and allow rapid blood flow. This blood accumulation fills up the penis much like an inflated balloon and causes it to be erect. When another chemical phosphodiesterase type 5 presents itself, the nitric oxide is broken down causing the penile muscles to constrict again and lose the erection.

Getting to the root of the erectile condition is key to finding ways to help erectile dysfunction. The most common cause of the condition is damage to the nerves, arteries, smooth muscles, and fibrous tissues resulting form diseases like diabetes, kidney disease, alcoholism, neurological diseases, and other cardiovascular diseases. About 70 percent of those suffering from erectile dysfunction are known to have any or a combination of these diseases. Testosterone deficiency is also a hormonal problem that can result in erectile dysfunction. Pinpointing the cause of the dysfunction makes it easier to find ways to help erectile dysfunction.

Physicians would most often choose to go for the less invasive ways to help erectile dysfunction before they suggest the more invasive treatments like implants and surgeries. The first recommendation would be to go for counselling and to implement some lifestyle changes. An initial psychosocial examination will be conducted by the physician to determine if there are non-medical causes for the dysfunction. In some cases, even the sexual partner may be invited for an interview. Healthy lifestyle practices like regular exercise, normal weight, and elimination of vices such as smoking and drinking are recommended for those seeking ways to help erectile dysfunction. Studies show that people who live healthy lives are more likely to experience improvements in their condition during treatment.

Natural ways to help erectile dysfunction are perhaps the safest way to treat the condition. There are herbal cures that contain the same ingredient as prescription drugs but not the potential risk factors involved. Erectile dysfunction is mainly a blood circulation problem, a problem that can be addressed by taking herbal medication. These herbal supplements are often recommended as part of a nutrition therapy that also involves taking vitamins and minerals and doing regular exercise. Epimedium Grandiflorum extract, otherwise known as the horny goat weed, has been used for centuries in reproductive beverages that boost the sex drive and treat erectile dysfunction. This extract also contains icarin, a flavnoid, the same ingredient found in common erectile dysfunction prescription drugs. Other herbal ways to help erectile dysfunction in a natural way are taking gingko biloba for improved penile blood flow, L-Arginine for the creation of nitric oxide, zinc to compensate for mineral deficiency, and Indian ginseng for body strengthening.

When people hear the term “erectile dysfunction,” they immediately think Viagra is the be-all and end-all of cures. The popularity of Viagra continues to soar years after its birth. However, there are many other erectile dysfunction sexual options available to men who are having a problem getting their “thing” up. Erectile dysfunction is the medical term used to describe the inability of a man to get an erection. It is considered by men - and even women - as a serious medical condition because it prevents sexual intercourse, deemed by most, if not all, people as an important aspect of life, from taking place. Thus, options to cure erectile dysfunction must be explored.

Let’s begin with one of the most common erectile dysfunction sexual options: Viagra. The generic name of Viagra is sildenafil. It is a medication, in the form of a pill, that works to give desperate men a chance at successful sexual intercourse by treating their erectile dysfunction issues. While Viagra has been approved by the Food and Drug Administration of the United States of America for the treatment of erectile dysfunction, it does not provide any cure for premature ejaculation or help achieve prolong erections. Viagra is just one of the many specific names that offer quick solutions to erection problems; there are many others you can find on the market.

Aside from Viagra and other drugs that have a similar purpose, injections are also recommended as part of the list of erectile dysfunction sexual options. Injections often come in the form of a tri-mix, a mixture of three medications, usually alprostadil, phentolamine mesylate, and papaverine hydrochloride. The tri-mix is then injected into the side of the penis. While the shot itself rarely causes serious pain, some men find the thought of sticking a needle in their penis highly uncomfortable. Nevertheless, injections give patients the erection they need - when they need it and how long they want it to last.

Although prescription drugs and injections do work, they are not considered by experts as the best erectile dysfunction sexual options. This distinction belongs to natural treatments, which involve therapy, among others. Natural treatments are understandably more appealing because they do not entail dangerous risks. Viagra and other similar drugs carry risks of heart attack, stroke, irregularity in heart beat, and death on rare occasions. Meanwhile, injections carry risks of pain, bruising, blood clot, and priapism. Drugs and injections also carry the risk of an allergic reaction in men who use them. These risks can be avoided by opting for natural methods.

Sexual therapy is, more often than not, all a man needs to release the issues that hinder him from having an erection. Usually, a man fails to have an erection because of stress and lack of self-confidence in sexual matters. A therapist can help a man with erectile dysfunction create a new, better image of himself and his sexual prowess. Experts believe that it is psychosomatic in more than half of recorded cases. Sexual therapy is the key to ridding the mind of all negative constructs that can disrupt sexual stimulation, and this is why it’s considered one of the best erectile dysfunction sexual options.

If you think you may have been exposed to HIV or AIDS, through unprotected sex with a stranger or accidental exposure to an infected person’s blood, then there’s no time to delay – an HIV test is essential, both for your peace of mind and for the sake of your health. Here are the essential facts that you need to know about HIV and AIDS…

How can HIV/AIDS be caught?

HIV and AIDS are transmitted through direct contact with infected bodily fluids. There are several common ways that people are infected:

• Sexual contact through vaginal or anal sex

• Sharing needles with an infected individual. Rarely, this can include tattoos and piercings

• Blood transfusions or accidental exposure to infected blood

• Mother to child transmission during pregnancy or during birth. Breast feeding, in some cases, can also lead to HIV infection

How can it be prevented?

The most important precautions to take are to make sure that you always use a new, sterile needle for any injection that you take, and to always use a condom during sex unless both you and your partner have had an HIV test. The contraceptive pill, diaphragms and spermicidal jelly cannot prevent infection during sex – only condoms are an effective preventative.

What are the symptoms?

Unfortunately, HIV and AIDS do not present any clear symptoms. Approximately 4 weeks after infection, most people will suffer a fever, glandular swelling, rashes, a sore throat and muscle aches. Since these symptoms are so general, they are frequently mistaken or misdiagnosed. The only way to be certain is to take an HIV or AIDS test.

What are the treatments?

There is currently no cure or vaccine for HIV or AIDS. However, there are various courses of retroviral drugs that can help to manage the symptoms and greatly increase the quality and length of life. Early diagnosis is critical, which is why HIV tests are so important for anyone who thinks they may have been exposed to the virus.

How do I get an HIV test?

There are numerous sexual health clinics around the US that offer confidential HIV tests. Most people choose to purchase them privately rather than through their insurance for the sake of privacy.

The first HIV test that is usually administered is the HIV-1 test. This is a blood test that checks for the antibodies that the body produces to fight the HIV infection. However, it can only be taken six weeks or more after exposure, as it takes time for the body to generate these antibodies. Another HIV test, the HIV PCR, can detect the virus 4-11 days after exposure. If either of these initial tests gives a positive result, follow tests are required to confirm it (the HIV-1 test can occasionally give false positive results, as it is very sensitive.)

How often should I have an HIV test?

Comprehensive STD screening, including an HIV test, is recommended once a year for all sexually active adults who have three or more sexual partners in that year. An HIV test is also recommended if you intend to start having unprotected sex with a partner, and, due to the risk of transmission to a child, is usually part of a standard health check up at the start of a pregnancy.

Men have been notorious of being careless with their skin. Their skin care regimens seldom go beyond soap and water.

However, lately there has been increased awareness among men about the needs and requirements of their skin and this has fuelled a market segment consisting of special skin care products for men. There is such an extensive range of men?’s skin care products available in the market that it gets difficult sometimes to make a sane choice.

While some prefer to try out a variety of skin care products to see what works for them, others stick to one particular product and hope it does the trick. Choosing skin care products that work well for your particular skin can be a daunting task. This is because there is plethora of options available, all of them claiming to be the best and promising to do wonders to the skin. In midst of all these, how do you know what the best skin care product is for you.

Here are 5 points you should consider while buying skin care products for men.

Know Your Skin Type
Before you go about finding skin care products, you should know what exactly your skin needs. And this can only be assessed by knowing your skin type. Is it normal, dry, oily, combination or sensitive? Skin care products are designed to address the specific requirements of the various types of skin. For example, dry skin needs more moisture, oily skin needs controlled exfoliation, acne prone skin needs bacteria fighting ingredients that heal acne and so on. Determining your skin type will let you know what skin care products best suit you.

Get a Men?’s Cleanser
Cleansers are a very important part of the skin care regimen. And since men?’s skin is intrinsically different from women?’s they need special cleansers designed for their specific gender. Men generally have bigger skin pores than women and accumulate comparatively more dirt and debris. Thus they need a tougher cleanser that can flush out the toxins and clean the skin well.

Include a Toner & Moisturizer in your Regimen
Most people fail to realize the importance of toners in the skin care regimen and prefer not to use it at all. Men?’s skin succumbeds to harsh treatments like shaving and this disrupts the pH balance of the skin. Toners not only help balance the pH levels of the skin but also ensure that the skin pores are absolutely clean and no residue of cleanser is left behind.
Additionally, when the skin is stripped ofnatural moistures due to shaving and cleansing, using a moisturizer hydrates the skin and restores the lost moisture. However, if you have oily or acneic skin, use a lightweight oil-free moisturizer. Moisturizers relieve skin dryness and prevent premature aging of the skin and keep wrinkles and fine lines at bay.

Buy Skin Treatment Products
If you have severe skin conditions like acne, anti-aging concerns or so on, make sure you buy specialized skin treatment products rather than general skin care products. This is because treatment products address specific skin concerns, go to the root level of the problem and cure the same.

Obagi Clenziderm M.D. Acne Therapeutic System for Normal to Oily Skin ?- It is a three step system that identifies and treats the primary causes of acne and help promote a clear skin. The system includes:

Obagi Daily Care Foaming Cleanser (4 fl. oz) ?- To clean off all the dirt and debris from the skin and reveal brighter skin from within
Obagi Pore Therapy (4 fl oz) ?- To clean the skin pores of dirt and oil residues
Obagi Serum Gel (1.8 fl oz) ?- To deep cleanse and treat acne with benzoyl peroxide

Obagi Clenziderm M.D. Acne Therapeutic System for Normal to Dry Skin is the same thing as above but it treats acne concerns on normal and dry skin types. The system includes:

Obagi Daily Care Cream Cleanser (6.5 fl oz) ?- To remove the excessive oil residues and dirt
Obagi Therapeutic Lotion (1.6 fl. oz.) ?- To remove acne and prevent further breakouts and inflammations
Obagi Therapeutic Moisturizer (1.7 fl oz) ?- To moisturize and hydrate your skin

Buy Suitable Shaving Products
Make sure the shaving products that you buy suit your epidermis type and care for your specific skin condition. Shaving products generally are comprised of three major components ?- Pre-Shave, Shaving Creams and Aftershave. All these products have moisturizing and conditioning agents that hydrate the skin and enhance its quality.

Every man wants to increase penis size. He does think that penis size is the key aspect to show his manliness. However in nature, not every man has the same size. Though the size is normally based on genetic cells, he can increase penis size by some special methods.

There are a lot of methods to increase penis size. The extender is considered to be the best solution to increase penis size than other methods. Traction device are having lots of benefits when compared to other methods. Traction device is a equipment that you’ll wear it on your penis. You can wear it while you are playing game, or while you are watching TV.

The question arises for lots of persons when they are picking a penis enlargement extender. There are too many companies who are selling the extender in Internet. Many persons got scammed by those companies. Many persons are having bad side effects or tissue damage after trying it.

So, it is really important that you must pick a trustworthy extender, which is not having any bad effects while you are using it to increase penis size. No one will ever want to take chance in these kinds of matters as the result could be a big disaster.

Not all extender is safe. Use it carefully and correcty. Not only will increase penis size, but this extender helps you attain a better erection quality.

But how often do you see a how NOT to article? Is there a demand for this type of knowledge? take it from this poor ,self abused unfortunate. Had i known the pitfalls before i made my purchase, i would have saved myself a little money and a LOT of embarassment. Tho to be fair to the manufacturer of the model i bought, it was indeed very well made.

The day started out much the same as any day for two mature, bored and sexually active adults in a relationship. With a trip to a nearby cities rather large and well stocked adult novelty and porn emporium! Exciting to say the least. We wandered the aisles, excitement building as we unearthed more and more treasures. It wasn’t long before i found myself standing before a veritable WALL of penis pumps. I really mean a wall. There were so many different styles and makes that the store had set aside an entire wall for their impressive collection. I worked my way through the smorgasbord of penile pumping devices, finally selecting and paying for my choice. A sleek and simple product made of high tensile space age plastic. Please remember the words space age plastic as they will come to mind later. My partner was unaware as she was in vibrator heaven 2 aisles over so i figured i would surprise her later with a bigger, larger, new improved me.

We went to lunch then returned home. I set aside my purchase while i went about the rest of my day doing whatever needed doing until i found myself with some idle time on my hands. What a perfect chance to improve myself! I quickly unpacked the pump and took a moment to admire the simplistic beauty of the device. A long ,clear cylindrical tube with a rubber seal at the large open end and a clear tube running from a nipple at the far end to a hand held pump that closely resembled a bicycle pump in reverse. Placed about midway on the cylinder wall was a small hole. Included with this miracle of modern pumping technology was a rather small and silly looking pamphlet claiming to be the instructions. Instructions? For something as easy as this? We don’t need no stinking instructions! I tossed the instructions carelessly over my shoulder as i disrobed and prepared to pump.

Now, let me backtrack a second here. I make a living working construction trades. Some years ago i was unfortunate enough to have an accident that cost me the thumb and index finger on my left hand. Still a carpenter so go figure. I tell you this now so you may understand what came next and why this doesn’t really apply to most NORMAL people. By normal i mean those in possession of a brain. I slipped the end of the device over my organ then started pumping. Air just whistled thru the cylinder. Aha! The hole! Hmmmm, what to do? Houston, we have a problem. Being as i am digitally challenged i quickly realized i did NOT possess the fingers needed to block the air hole thus enabling the device to pump correctly. Also, i had noticed the rubber seal did not seal as well as it should. That must be what the small tube of lube was for! I generously lubricated the seal, slipped the device back over my organ and slapped a piece of scotch tape over the hole. Now we were in business! I took a few practice pumps and was happy to see and feel an immediate response. So i pumped about 20 times more. WOW did i get big! It looked like it had been slammed in a door, so angry and swollen. Impressive to say the least!

Just as i was starting to enjoy the new me it suddenly dawned on me that i MAY have over pumped just a tad. It started to turn dark purple. It started to HURT. It started to THROB. I quickly reached for the end tab of the scotch tape i had applied and snatched it from the cylinder. To my unspeakable horror i was left looking at a piece of tape dangling from my fingers with a perfect hole in it! The hole was still sealed and now was impossible to get the edge of it started so i could get it off. I calmly told myself no big deal. This is when i realized i MAY have over lubed as my right testicle was SUCKED up into the tube with my already smooshed organ. Calm just went out the window. It was at about this time that i discovered just how tough space age plastic really is as i began beating the cylinder against the corner of the dresser in an attempt to shatter it. I had a better chance at winning the lottery. The noise from all this must have alerted my diminutive wife, so she came to see what all the noise and screaming was about. She entered the bedroom to find me naked, on all fours, scrambling around frantically searching for the instruction pamphlet while dangling a penis pump that contained what NOW looked like a bloated kielbasa gone bad. She sat on the edge of the bed and LAUGHED until she cried. I was NOT amused. When i finally gritted out a smart remark about how she COULD make herself useful, she responded by walking over to my pants, getting my pocketknife from the pocket and using it to puncture the tape covering the safety hole. She was still laughing as i threw the possessed device across the room and sat there nursing my very swollen genitals.

If you have ever seen a car tire about to blow, when it gets that little lump in the sidewall, this is how my penis looked. Luckily for me the damage wasn’t permanent and the blowout lump was gone 2 days later. Still, this was enough to put me off penis pumps permanently. When i called the store and asked if there had been any documented problems with pumps , i was told not with MY model. It appears they make even MORE powerful pumps than the one i chose. I guess lady luck was just with me that day, otherwise my butt might have been sucking up the bedspread.

For all you would be pumpers out there, read those instructions! Also, whatever you do, Do NOT pump alone!